you know, I just had to post today. Not because theres a miracle and something interesting happened today, but only because its the last day of the hols. Well, cant really say what Im feeling now...might be a little sad, but also eager to return to school! I want to go back because of all that can happen in school, instead of lazing around at home (which is also not that frequent) or going out to do things and get busier. Now why do I feel so..uncomfortable towards the end of the holidays and feel like going to school, when during the school term I cant wait for everything to end? Hmm...maybe...its because its sort of like my duty? The person inside me tells me that I should be going to school to study, but im not doing that... So its like a mismatch between what Im doing and what I should do, and that makes me feel like im not doing what I should be doing, and that Im just useless and better off non-existant or something, haha, to put it in a more serious way. This kind of thinking is also rather commonly shown in animes, for example maybe Saber from fate/stay night which I watched recently. She also experienced this when Shirou just summoned her from the other world. She is a warrior, but here in this world, her newly-found master is against such violence and forbids her to attack anyone (even though they were in a war) unless desperately in need. But, even when she tried as much as she could to not attack, she couldnt and sneaked out herself one night. Cant blame her, shes a warrior and also actually a king and you're asking her to sit at home and stone? No way! Okay, but thats not how students are, not like we really really want to go to school, haha. I just love taking examples from animes. School tomorrow...heading back into studies...